Well, it's come to that time. You can't help but gain some weight during pregnancy, to start with it's simply about what foods you can eat that will actually stay down, and it's invariably ones you shouldn't be eating in any quantity. I've heard of women eating whole packets of ginger biscuits every day "to help with the sickness". Thankfully, they made me feel worse, but I didn't escape the inevitable weight gain. By the end, you're simply hungry all the time and so big and unwieldy you simply end up making a permanent dent in the sofa, having spent the whole day doing nothing but reading a book or watching the telly.
So, I've broken out the slim-fast and the step exerciser and have had some modest success. In five weeks I have lost seven pounds, which is not to be sniffed at. My biggest jeans are at last showing signs of not being totally skin tight any more and I live in hope that my middle sagginess will not be permanent by doing 50 to 60 stomach crunches almost every evening before I fall asleep.
Every woman, with few exceptions, gets a bit paranoid post pregnancy. I managed to gain a stone whilst pregnant and have no plans to let it hang around. I am training myself to eat smaller meals and not to snack in the afternoon, something I am quite notorious for. I could get away with it as a young adult, all that walking to and from school and carting a heavy bag around. Even at university I didn't balloon up, I was walking everywhere.
Now, being something of a car-addicted lazy person, I can't nosh all I want and expect to burn it all off. I have to persuade my brain that it doesn't need in excess of 2000 calories a day any more, as much as it wants to. I have a fridge full of celery and carrot to snack on if the urge takes me, and that didn't bother me five weeks ago. Now it's the most depressing thing in the world, sometimes I just crave sugar and fat! I find myself looking down at my legs and saying "There's plenty of fat down there, burn some of it if you're so desperate!" but my metabolism wants what it wants. To be totally successful I think I need to live in a sealed box with nothing but a bed, an exercise bike and a fridge full of vegetables. Still, Joseph is a very good distracter, he's getting very chatty and playful now!